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2010, a year of healing

27 December, 2010

As I suspected in my wrap-up blog post for 2009 this year was about a deeper recovery from my upbringing in a toxic cult. I didn’t know or accept it at the time but having now been through several months of psychological counselling and on a prescription for anti-depressants I now realise that my sense of that ‘something beneath the surface’ was depression. So the first half of 2010 was all about therapy and recovery: exploring my past and dissolving the mental and emotional scar tissue to become a more functional, whole and contented person.

The change after therapy and starting medication was so drastic that Jenny now refer to the history of our relationship as two eras: Before Medication and After Medication, although of course the drugs were only part of the solution. We don’t like to talk about the dark days of Before Medication.

So while 2010 has been pretty awesome in that regard the first half was a bit rocky. My psychologist had me in tears every session and I’d need to take time to pull myself together before going to work. It was hard work but bloody worth it. One of the more tangible outcomes of the therapy is that I now have a much better relationship with my dad; I no longer bear a grudge for his part in my being brought up in a cult and how much work he created for me in leaving and recovering from that place. Just evidence of how I’ve come to terms with my past and integrated the first 25 years of my life into who I am now rather than shunning that part of my life as something I’d rather forget. Like alcohol on a raw wound, it was a painful process but I’ve come out of it healthier and stronger.

I still want to write a book about my experiences growing up in a fundamentalist Christian cult but I’ve put that on the back-burner till I get to New Zealand. I think I’ll have a lot more spare time, less distractions, easier to focus on a big project like that. The change of scenery should help inspire me too.

Oh yes, in case you didn’t know we’re moving to New Zealand next year! In fact I’ll be flying over on the 8th of January and starting my new job on the 10th – you can read more about that on my new NZ blog.

Looking forward, 2011 is going to be pretty awesome but won’t be without its challenges – moving overseas, living in a new country, leaving behind most of our stuff and creature comforts, making new friends, adjusting to a new culture, starting a new job, transitioning from government work to private sector … but they’re all challenges I fully embrace and look forward to. I think 2011 will be amazing and this graph of personal growth and life experiences that started in mid-2008 for me is showing no signs of slowing! Maybe 2012 will be a bit quieter, though not if I have anything to say about it!

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3 comments

  1. Unfortunately I didn’t get to go overseas this year (Jenny went to Alaska for a month) but I think the fact we’re spending ALL of next year in New Zealand makes up for that, and now that my debts are almost under control we’re making plans for Alaska in 2012 and central Europe in 2013, and, and … 🙂


  2. Hey Nat, Good on.ya. It’s amazing … We are going to be in NZ from 29 Jan for our friends Amanda & Ian’s wedding in Wanaka. Our first long-awaited trip to NZ! Xx Caronne & Nigel


    • Wow, nice, beautiful spot for a wedding! If you have spare time or the inclination feel free to drop in and say hi in Christchurch. It’ll only be me there – Jenny won’t be moving over till February.



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